I'm a coward

I don't know what friends mean. I don't really know who to talk to when I am in trouble. I need some male friends. My life is surrounded with girls now. That makes me sick. I've got so many friends on facebook, but it seems that I can talk to none of them. After all, I'm just another lonely girl that can't deal with my lonely mind properly.

little but true happiness

All right. This picture was taken in summer vacation after coming back to Taiwan for a while. We went shopping around Shinyi Area which is also known as Taipei Manhattan. I ask myself lots of times. What is happiness? When we were little, happiness seemed really simple, but as we've grown up, things are becoming complicating and we can hardly be satisfied. My opa and oma, they are always frugal but always try to give their lids the best things. They are probably my favourite partners to go shopping with. They are never stingy to buy things for their kids. We often go to really good restaurants when we are out together. Sometimes, we also go to a cafe for tea time. This picture was taken at Agnes b. cafe. It wasn't that good, anyway.
My oma, she likes to cook a lot. Even she's usually complaining about how cooking bothers her, but we all know she likes it anyway from the bottom of her heart. Today when we were eating together. I found that there was a lot of carrots left on the vegetable plate. Yep, only few of us like carrots. Then she ate almost half of them but didn't eat other vegetables which wasn't so much left. In my opinion, I don't think she likes them. I think she just didn't want to waste the food. And she always cares about how the dishes taste, smell and look. She wanted people who came back home later wouldn't see the so many red carrots on the plate. Also, she hardly buys lunch. Instead, she heat up the leftovers all the time for her own lunch but always buys us fresh lunch boxes for us. It's no wonder that they have a lot of money. Sometimes, I really want to tell them. Just use your money at leisure. It's not your obligation to leave your money for us. Do it for your own good. I know they'll never never do that. As I grow up, I start to know how their consideration is. They are all doing everything for their kids. How great they are!
I'm writing this article since I've found them becoming old recently. Everyone is becoming old at every single moment. It's just a famous singer, Fei Fei Fung,died recently at the aga of 60. I'm so scared. I know I'll once lose them, but I just want them to live longer and longer to see my success to let my children see that they have such great and cool grandgrandparents. I'm really proud of them!

31.01.11

start typing an article owing that I don't feel good. Frankly speaking, I'm lonely, very lonely. I miss the days I can talk to many many people rather than having no one. We were all once so close at that time. Right now, we're just strangers. I tried to chat with you, but the replies you gave me was probably never more than 3 words.

So I ask myself. What happened? Why did everything come to this step? Why did everyone just leave me at once at my weakest moment? I know I won't know the answer right away. I'll roughly get the answer in a few years since I see a lot and learn a lot from life.

Why is it so difficult? I don't need my life to be full of romance but someone who truly loves me. It seems so impossible.

I'm feeling down now due to the coming days of going back to school which makes me sad. I don't feel it's time already, another 5 months busy until the next vacation. I really need more rest.

once upon

想說來打篇中文文章好了，反正其實也沒人會來看啦!這樣反而好，我就不會一直被問問問，人確實是個很矛盾的生物，一直被問時覺得好煩，不被問又覺得大家好像都不關心妳了，其實，是你自己不想別人關心你的吧

曾經，當我談論到一個個朋友離我而去，你只回了我有一天我也會成為那個把你從msn上刪掉的那個人，我信誓旦旦的告訴你「不會，你是我的好朋友，你一直聽我說，我們一定會一直是朋友的。」
現在的我，想起當時的自己，實在覺得自己很愚蠢，什麼永遠的朋友，一切都只是「空」。沒想到自己有一天也會被你害的這樣，我走過來了，也看「輕」了，其實像你這種人，處處都是，只是提早遇到而已，其實也沒什麼大不了的。
不懂那些流言蜚語是怎麼傳的?其實說真的也都不重要了，看著永遠掛在msn上的你，有時候真的很想你，想念和你講話的感覺，你贏了。