Kind of not in the mood. Well... I hate the customs. If you're talking to some people every day, only one day without. It can let you want to die.
Ju slept here yesterday. Today in the morning I wanted to kill her.The reason is simple because she didn't need to go to school as early as me. I'm jealous. I needed to go to school so early and she just needed to lie on the bed... It's so unfair.
As usual, 2 sport lessons still suck. Since I'm in Europe, I've realized how bad I am in sport lessons here... How bad our sport education is. I'm kind of the girl that everyone can laugh at. Thank you, Taiwanese education. You let me know a lot of ways to get good grades but nothing really about music, art or sport. It's difficult to imagine how stupid it is. Tomorrow is kind of the sport day at school and we all need to do gymnasium kind of in the front of every pupil. I don't know how to face it, definitely not.
The school was until 13:00. On the way Ju and I went home she told me that nobody's not at home at noon, so I decided for the occasion to go to Winnweiler. I need to go there anyhow for my piano course.We had a good afternoon together with the shining sun. Like always, we talked a lot. And we had light lunch! I love the tomatoes with kind of sauce with grape vinegar. And I love the olive oil there! In the afternoon there was a surprising visit, Sarah Steinbach. She's so interesting and funny. We talked about Adrian. I really couldn't stop laughing when we were talking about him... We there really had a nice talk together. She has kind of magic that she can put everything in a funny way! In the evening, we ate with Johanna and Joachim together... At 18:00 Ju and I walked together to Frau Baecker. I didn't really practice any piano this week. I think she was shocked because of my bad job. However, I'll try to do it this week. Well... I hope so.
It's such a mess. I mean this article. Whatever, it is like that... Ich habe keine Lust....
Tuesday 29 March 2011
Monday blue
Monday is usually not that good in my life until now... I don't want to talk to people only want to sleep all the time. I hate that. There's always a wall between people and me on Monday, especially at school. So let me think about something interesting to say. Well... We did 4. maths exam today. It was definitely not that easy as I had thought... However, people suffer it an I don't care about my marks, but sometimes I'd like people to think I'm smart, so I'd like to get a good grade in maths. However, it doesn't matter. I finished my lunch at school and went home for a while when the others had AG and I don't. I talked with Fible. As usual, the topic we were talking about is always like that... Sometimes I'm really so afraid. If you ask me of what, I don't really know how to answer.It's all the time a big question mark between us. It is like that. My loneliness led me to go to him. It is kind of stupid. So what??? don't really want to think about it. People sometimes need the time that they don't need to worry about anything or talk like an idiot... SO WHAT? well... why do we all the time need to think deeply about how the others see us. Why can't we just be ourselves? It seems easy but hard. We've all heard thousands of people say that we need to be brave to be ourselves and don't be afraid... But why why is it actually so difficult to not care about what the others think.
I did my presentation in Rotary today. It was okay. I mean it's not that bad to go to Rotary with good warm food I can choose. They don't want to talk to me... It's okay... I'd prefer to get good food than not going there. I was nervous from the first till the end. It's difficult to speak German in front of so many people automatically. I'm happy Ortwin, Simone, and Ju came too and she's sleeping tonight! It was already the third time she listened to my presentation! Anyway, we need each other, don't we? I ate the salad there. I always eat salad there. I think I'll miss salad a lot when I am in Taiwan again. I hope mm will go to the good supermarket to get fresh and good salad for me! Finally, someone knows how it is in my club how boring it is... and how old they are. I'm glad my sponsored club and my pp's club isn't like that. I miss my club I miss that sort of atmosphere that people talk to each other not so commercial... People don't only talk for their business. It shouldn't be like that... Then we wanted to get some ice cream for dessert, but the cafes were all close. However, we still went to Mcdonald to get some!
A day is over again.... It's not a good idea to count the day left in Germany every day... so perhaps I'm going to stop doing that kind of stupid thing. It's logical but sad...
well... good night to me and Ju!
I did my presentation in Rotary today. It was okay. I mean it's not that bad to go to Rotary with good warm food I can choose. They don't want to talk to me... It's okay... I'd prefer to get good food than not going there. I was nervous from the first till the end. It's difficult to speak German in front of so many people automatically. I'm happy Ortwin, Simone, and Ju came too and she's sleeping tonight! It was already the third time she listened to my presentation! Anyway, we need each other, don't we? I ate the salad there. I always eat salad there. I think I'll miss salad a lot when I am in Taiwan again. I hope mm will go to the good supermarket to get fresh and good salad for me! Finally, someone knows how it is in my club how boring it is... and how old they are. I'm glad my sponsored club and my pp's club isn't like that. I miss my club I miss that sort of atmosphere that people talk to each other not so commercial... People don't only talk for their business. It shouldn't be like that... Then we wanted to get some ice cream for dessert, but the cafes were all close. However, we still went to Mcdonald to get some!
A day is over again.... It's not a good idea to count the day left in Germany every day... so perhaps I'm going to stop doing that kind of stupid thing. It's logical but sad...
well... good night to me and Ju!
Sunday 27 March 2011
Time differences from Taiwan and Germany finally remain only 6 hours
As usual, I want to keep my blog working every day. On any account, I was too tiered to do it yesterday. The orchestra started at 9:00 in the morning and ended at 18:00. I was totally exhausted after it. The other reason is also that it has been such a long time I don't really practice flute. I actually think I've never played the instrument for such a long time in 1 day. Most of the songs are tiring, but I feel good to play again in the orchestra.
On Friday night I went to the disco with my host sister, her boyfriend, and some of her friends, my first time to a disco. It was quite good with a little bit alcohol but not too much. The security in a German disco is kind of strict in my mind. At first you need your ID so that they can keep it till the end you leave, then you got a stamp on your hand to make the difference from 16-year-old people and 18-year-old people. (In Germany, you can only drink beer and wine when you're 16. Until you're 18, you can drink the rest of the alcohol and buy cigarette.). They'll also take a picture of you .At last, you get a card that you pay all the things with it and then pay in the end with cash. They waiters can also get to know how old you are with the card. Friday night was a special night "car night". You have to pay 10 euros to get in and if you get in with a toy car then you get 10 euros extra for those drinks. One point I didn't feel really good on Friday night is that we didn't really meet a lot of people we knew, so it was not that fun. However, it was still fresh for me.
Today I still went to the orchestra as everyone expected me to do. I was happy it wasn't so long today. The practice today was from 9:00 till 13:00. It was still good, but I need to practice alone. I wasn't that good in those songs. All the people who play the flute need to play the piccolo in one of the songs. It was the first time I played piccolo. Anyway, It wasn't that difficult as I had imagined:) We're going to hold a concert next Saturday. It's going to be a good weekend with both changing family and the coming concert!
As usual, Sammy my host brother and Lea my another host sister come back again today (They are the children from my host father. They live one week here and one week with their mum.) As soon as Sammy was here, he came to me and told me "It's your last weekend with us, we have to do something special together!" You can't imagine why it was special to hear that. The reason is that we're all the time arguing and fighting. Of course it's always for fun, but I was still touched when he said it! He's so sweat!!! And he told my host parents that we should go to the restaurant this week before changing family to celebrate it. I really feel well in this family. I LOVE THEM!
A weekend passed again and it's the cruel reality again... I hate to go to school.
One lucky thing is the time differences between Taiwan and Germany are less 1 hour, so it remains 6 hours now! It should be 9:00 now. However, I'm tired, so I'm going to bed right now!!!
Starting packing again is tiring.....
in my bedroom
On Friday night I went to the disco with my host sister, her boyfriend, and some of her friends, my first time to a disco. It was quite good with a little bit alcohol but not too much. The security in a German disco is kind of strict in my mind. At first you need your ID so that they can keep it till the end you leave, then you got a stamp on your hand to make the difference from 16-year-old people and 18-year-old people. (In Germany, you can only drink beer and wine when you're 16. Until you're 18, you can drink the rest of the alcohol and buy cigarette.). They'll also take a picture of you .At last, you get a card that you pay all the things with it and then pay in the end with cash. They waiters can also get to know how old you are with the card. Friday night was a special night "car night". You have to pay 10 euros to get in and if you get in with a toy car then you get 10 euros extra for those drinks. One point I didn't feel really good on Friday night is that we didn't really meet a lot of people we knew, so it was not that fun. However, it was still fresh for me.
Today I still went to the orchestra as everyone expected me to do. I was happy it wasn't so long today. The practice today was from 9:00 till 13:00. It was still good, but I need to practice alone. I wasn't that good in those songs. All the people who play the flute need to play the piccolo in one of the songs. It was the first time I played piccolo. Anyway, It wasn't that difficult as I had imagined:) We're going to hold a concert next Saturday. It's going to be a good weekend with both changing family and the coming concert!
As usual, Sammy my host brother and Lea my another host sister come back again today (They are the children from my host father. They live one week here and one week with their mum.) As soon as Sammy was here, he came to me and told me "It's your last weekend with us, we have to do something special together!" You can't imagine why it was special to hear that. The reason is that we're all the time arguing and fighting. Of course it's always for fun, but I was still touched when he said it! He's so sweat!!! And he told my host parents that we should go to the restaurant this week before changing family to celebrate it. I really feel well in this family. I LOVE THEM!
A weekend passed again and it's the cruel reality again... I hate to go to school.
One lucky thing is the time differences between Taiwan and Germany are less 1 hour, so it remains 6 hours now! It should be 9:00 now. However, I'm tired, so I'm going to bed right now!!!
Starting packing again is tiring.....
in my bedroom
Friday 25 March 2011
Frei-Tag
So it's Friday today. Usually, I should be excited about the weekend. Today, I don't really feel that happy. One of the reason is because some stupid things happened. So tomorrow evening is Paddy's birthday party in Bensheim. He's simply kind of a good friend from me and Ju. I'm actually willing to go there, now it only seems impossible, so I choose to face the fact right now. The thing is like that. My counselor invited me to join the orchestra of Donnersberg-Kreis. I hate that when I can't say NO... because someone's always doing some stupid things behind me. I couldn't do anything to stop it due to the BITCH. However, they are also too nice so that I couldn't easily say NO. That really sucks. In my opinion, people shouldn't be mean but being too nice or kind is also a wrong thing. It's not when you're all the time doing the right thing, then you're right. You also have to look after the situation to make a proper decision of everything, just like a kind lie.
So, today's quite okay. As usual, I went home from school at 13:00. The weather today is quite good with the sun and light wind, so we had the first outside lunch today! It was awesome. I miss it so much. After lunch, we still sat outside ate ice cream with the warm sun is the best thing you can do in summer! The stairs from the main entrance seem to be the best place to enjoy the sun when the weather's awesome. We went horse riding with Elena(my host sister in the afternoon). The horse riding I mean is she still need to hold a rope for me, but it wasn't like when we were small the coach always had to stand right beside the horse. Instead of it, she can stand in the middle with a long rope along the horse. It's always been a wish for me to go horse riding! Remember when I was perhaps a 2nd grader, I was once by my aunt in Taichung. They had promised me that we're going to the horse training place. Unfortunately, my eyebrow injured be a scooter and was bloody. After that, a doctor sew the wound with perhaps 4 stitches for me... I'm not sure. I can't remember anymore The incident was actually because I was playing with my friend. We were riding the scooters. I've always wanted to be the first one and wanted to be faster, so it just happened. Therefore, all the adults asked me not to go to the horse training place then because of the wound. It could easily be infected. I remember I was sooooo stubborn. There was only I had to go in my mind. At last, I still went there. However, I've got this chance now from this family. I feel grateful. I know I may not be able to continue it in Taiwan. It's expensive like fuck in Taiwan and is considered as a royal sport. It's so stupid. No sports should be royal. I'm for that everyone has the right to try different kinds of sports and choose one that fits ourselves. The horse Snoopy was anyhow a little bit uncontrolled today. It was all pretty good at first. Then he started running so fast mentally until Elena couldn't hold him anymore. I reacted calm. In reality, I was so scared and so afraid of falling down of him. Anyway, if you are just so scared, it doesn't help anything. I hold it tight and let him run. He ran so fast. Elena seemed a little bit shocked and nervous. She shouted "Hold the rope tight with his hair!" Once I was about to fall from him. Luckily, he stopped... God saved my life. However, I wasn't really shocked but found it coooool because Snoopy doesn't run that fast normally. I feel lucky I experienced it and it was quite cool and fresh for me! I really like horse riding. At least now I like it very much. Thanks for Elena's one on one horse riding courses. Love you :)
Tonight I'm going to the disco with Elena and some of friends! It's going to be fun!!! I feel so good to have host sisters that we can always exchange clothes, shoes, or associations. I love that kind of feeling! And tomorrow I should face the reality to go to the orchestra as everyone expects me to do.
18:35 in the dining room
So, today's quite okay. As usual, I went home from school at 13:00. The weather today is quite good with the sun and light wind, so we had the first outside lunch today! It was awesome. I miss it so much. After lunch, we still sat outside ate ice cream with the warm sun is the best thing you can do in summer! The stairs from the main entrance seem to be the best place to enjoy the sun when the weather's awesome. We went horse riding with Elena(my host sister in the afternoon). The horse riding I mean is she still need to hold a rope for me, but it wasn't like when we were small the coach always had to stand right beside the horse. Instead of it, she can stand in the middle with a long rope along the horse. It's always been a wish for me to go horse riding! Remember when I was perhaps a 2nd grader, I was once by my aunt in Taichung. They had promised me that we're going to the horse training place. Unfortunately, my eyebrow injured be a scooter and was bloody. After that, a doctor sew the wound with perhaps 4 stitches for me... I'm not sure. I can't remember anymore The incident was actually because I was playing with my friend. We were riding the scooters. I've always wanted to be the first one and wanted to be faster, so it just happened. Therefore, all the adults asked me not to go to the horse training place then because of the wound. It could easily be infected. I remember I was sooooo stubborn. There was only I had to go in my mind. At last, I still went there. However, I've got this chance now from this family. I feel grateful. I know I may not be able to continue it in Taiwan. It's expensive like fuck in Taiwan and is considered as a royal sport. It's so stupid. No sports should be royal. I'm for that everyone has the right to try different kinds of sports and choose one that fits ourselves. The horse Snoopy was anyhow a little bit uncontrolled today. It was all pretty good at first. Then he started running so fast mentally until Elena couldn't hold him anymore. I reacted calm. In reality, I was so scared and so afraid of falling down of him. Anyway, if you are just so scared, it doesn't help anything. I hold it tight and let him run. He ran so fast. Elena seemed a little bit shocked and nervous. She shouted "Hold the rope tight with his hair!" Once I was about to fall from him. Luckily, he stopped... God saved my life. However, I wasn't really shocked but found it coooool because Snoopy doesn't run that fast normally. I feel lucky I experienced it and it was quite cool and fresh for me! I really like horse riding. At least now I like it very much. Thanks for Elena's one on one horse riding courses. Love you :)
Tonight I'm going to the disco with Elena and some of friends! It's going to be fun!!! I feel so good to have host sisters that we can always exchange clothes, shoes, or associations. I love that kind of feeling! And tomorrow I should face the reality to go to the orchestra as everyone expects me to do.
18:35 in the dining room
Thursday 24 March 2011
Heute
Okay, that's cool. It's the second day I have my blog. I'm proud of myself that I continue doing it. It's a simple day at school like every day, don't really understand something. We got our English vocabulary and plural test back. I got 1-. It was okay for me even though I know I made some stupid mistakes. We''ve been learning Katagana in Japanese for couple months. It makes people confusing. I don't understand why Japanese need such many different kinds of alphabets. I mean like English ABC etw. are already enough for people to communicate.In Japanese people need to learn three kinds Katagana, Hiragana and Kanji. Oh my god... The grammar is totally not difficult at all, but the symbols really suck. However, we've got today the last 2 hours free. Two maths disappeared from the time table. A day without maths is anyhow wonderful. I've been sleepy and tired the whole day. I think using computer before sleeping is unhealthy and it makes people sleepless like me. I couldn't sleep last night. It was so annoying. I hate that.
After school I went to Winnweiler where Ju lives for the German course with Frau Schönaur-Gregg. As usual, It was good with the homemade pizza. I only don't feel really good that Ju always gets full of plans from Rotary. I never get really kind of chance have appointments with mine. I don't really feel that well with my Rotary club these days. I mean if you all have no moods to host an exchange students, than don't start it. You all understand it's unfair for me. My club seems too commercial. I have the feeling that they don't want to talk to a 16-year-old girl because then they get no business. Such a pity... I'm sure they're clear in their mind, so after this year they can easily tell the whole world we cooperate with district to make youth exchange programme. I mean SO WHAT. You're doing the surface. You are only officially my sponsored club. I am considered as a good. I'm only the deal with money. How stupid it is! I can't imagine it anymore.
It's my last weekend in Weierhof. We're changing family on 02.04.11. It seems so fast, all the things! I can't imagine I'm going to school by fucking bus that is always late again. I DON'T WANT!!! I can't go home whenever I want. That really sucks... Everything will need to be changed again... Ahhhhh... I don't like it.
After school I went to Winnweiler where Ju lives for the German course with Frau Schönaur-Gregg. As usual, It was good with the homemade pizza. I only don't feel really good that Ju always gets full of plans from Rotary. I never get really kind of chance have appointments with mine. I don't really feel that well with my Rotary club these days. I mean if you all have no moods to host an exchange students, than don't start it. You all understand it's unfair for me. My club seems too commercial. I have the feeling that they don't want to talk to a 16-year-old girl because then they get no business. Such a pity... I'm sure they're clear in their mind, so after this year they can easily tell the whole world we cooperate with district to make youth exchange programme. I mean SO WHAT. You're doing the surface. You are only officially my sponsored club. I am considered as a good. I'm only the deal with money. How stupid it is! I can't imagine it anymore.
It's my last weekend in Weierhof. We're changing family on 02.04.11. It seems so fast, all the things! I can't imagine I'm going to school by fucking bus that is always late again. I DON'T WANT!!! I can't go home whenever I want. That really sucks... Everything will need to be changed again... Ahhhhh... I don't like it.
Wednesday 23 March 2011
Anfangen
However, because of this and that I started a new blog with the first article in English. I hope this time I'll last it longer and make it more interesting.
So this is my 7th month in Germany. I can't imagine I'm going home in 94 days. It sounds scary to me. I don't really know how to handle the days back to my hometown, Taipei. It means a lot of homework, tests, and staying up for the school stuffs. I'm not able to face that kind of reality right now. I still want to dream a little bit more. Therefore, I've decided since now, I'm going to enjoy my life every day without thinking how the others see me. I've walked through the processes from the very first, in the middle, and I think the Europe tour during the Easter holidays will be a good start for my last part of exchange year. Whenever I'm thinking about such things, I've gotten such a complicating mood in my mind. On the one hand, I couldn't wake up from my fond dream. On the other hand, I'm fed up with having no friends in my class. I couldn't find any reasons to go to school. I go to school despite understanding nothing. Sometimes I ask myself what the fuck I am doing now at school. I'm tired of being alone or standing with my classmates during the break but saying nothing. As I always think, I'm not supposed to be alone, but my classmates don't seem to understand it. I mean if I was in my country, I could also talk to everyone and it'd be easier to find a topic to talk with the others. Unfortunately I'm not. I can easily consider the time at school is the darkest period during the exchange. 7 months already passed. I'm still worrying about the same thing as the first month. I'm still afraid of having no friends at school. I feel so weak. It's the first time I feel like a fool that couldn't do anything to against it. I wanted to defeat, but I had no strength.
Therefore, all of my friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't wait to see you all again. I can't wait to have common topics, laugh and make joke with each other! Anyway, the first thing I'll need to do after landing Taiwan is to EAT! I'm dying to eat Taiwanese snacks. I feel I could eat everything in Taiwan everywhere! SISTERS, LET'S GO.
love you all, always with full of my love
So this is my 7th month in Germany. I can't imagine I'm going home in 94 days. It sounds scary to me. I don't really know how to handle the days back to my hometown, Taipei. It means a lot of homework, tests, and staying up for the school stuffs. I'm not able to face that kind of reality right now. I still want to dream a little bit more. Therefore, I've decided since now, I'm going to enjoy my life every day without thinking how the others see me. I've walked through the processes from the very first, in the middle, and I think the Europe tour during the Easter holidays will be a good start for my last part of exchange year. Whenever I'm thinking about such things, I've gotten such a complicating mood in my mind. On the one hand, I couldn't wake up from my fond dream. On the other hand, I'm fed up with having no friends in my class. I couldn't find any reasons to go to school. I go to school despite understanding nothing. Sometimes I ask myself what the fuck I am doing now at school. I'm tired of being alone or standing with my classmates during the break but saying nothing. As I always think, I'm not supposed to be alone, but my classmates don't seem to understand it. I mean if I was in my country, I could also talk to everyone and it'd be easier to find a topic to talk with the others. Unfortunately I'm not. I can easily consider the time at school is the darkest period during the exchange. 7 months already passed. I'm still worrying about the same thing as the first month. I'm still afraid of having no friends at school. I feel so weak. It's the first time I feel like a fool that couldn't do anything to against it. I wanted to defeat, but I had no strength.
Therefore, all of my friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't wait to see you all again. I can't wait to have common topics, laugh and make joke with each other! Anyway, the first thing I'll need to do after landing Taiwan is to EAT! I'm dying to eat Taiwanese snacks. I feel I could eat everything in Taiwan everywhere! SISTERS, LET'S GO.
love you all, always with full of my love
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