Monday blue

Monday is usually not that good in my life until now... I don't want to talk to people only want to sleep all the time. I hate that. There's always a wall between people and me on Monday, especially at school.  So let me think about something interesting to say. Well... We did 4. maths exam today. It was definitely not that easy as I had thought... However, people suffer it an I don't care about my marks, but sometimes I'd like people to think I'm smart, so I'd like to get a good grade in maths. However, it doesn't matter. I finished my lunch at school and went home for a while when the others had AG and I don't. I talked with Fible. As usual, the topic we were talking about is always like that... Sometimes I'm really so afraid. If you ask me of what, I don't really know how to answer.It's all the time a big question mark between us. It is like that. My loneliness led me to go to him. It is kind of stupid. So what??? don't really want to think about it. People sometimes need the time that they don't need to worry about anything or talk like an idiot... SO WHAT? well... why do we all the time need to think deeply about how the others see us. Why can't we just be ourselves? It seems easy but hard. We've all heard thousands of people say that we need to be brave to be ourselves and don't be afraid... But why why is it actually so difficult to not care about what the others think.
I did my presentation in Rotary today. It was okay. I mean it's not that bad to go to Rotary with good warm food I can choose. They don't want to talk to me... It's okay... I'd prefer to get good food than not going there. I was nervous from the first till the end. It's difficult to speak German in front of so many people automatically. I'm happy Ortwin, Simone, and Ju came too and she's sleeping tonight! It was already the third time she listened to my presentation! Anyway, we need each other, don't we? I ate the salad there. I always eat salad there. I think I'll miss salad a lot when I am in Taiwan again. I hope mm will go to the good supermarket to get fresh and good salad for me! Finally, someone knows how it is in my club how boring it is... and how old they are. I'm glad my sponsored club and my pp's club isn't like that. I miss my club I miss that sort of atmosphere that people talk to each other not so commercial... People don't only talk for their business. It shouldn't be like that... Then we wanted to get some ice cream for dessert, but the cafes were all close. However, we still went to Mcdonald to get some!
A day is over again.... It's not a good idea to count the day left in Germany every day... so perhaps I'm going to stop doing that kind of stupid thing. It's logical but sad...
well... good night to me and Ju!