Sunday 25 December 2011
somehow I feel lost and homesick
don't know why. I feel sad, lost and homesick. I'm homesick of Germany. I miss Christmas. And somehow I miss my permission to do things I want. That's what I can do in Germany. I don't need so many permissions to do things. I almost decide everything I do want to do. I'm not afraid of asking to go out. On the contrary, I'm always so scared to ask things now. I want to cry so much right now. Why do I have to go to school tomorrow? I feel confused of a lot of things. I wonder a lot of "WHYS". I wonder who can feel my helpless, probably only myself. I gotta seek a way out. Where there is hope, there is way. I gotta sleep.
Sunday 4 September 2011
a surprising trip to Jiufen
After the welcome party, I got a call at 23:00, Serena who went to France last year asked me if I wanted to go with her, her friends and four of the inbounds to Jiufen where I already went to after coming back to Taiwan. I however agreed because I'd like to know the inbounds more. I woke up really early to go to school first to get the fee this semester. And then, I went directly to Taipei main station to meet the others. There were Olivia, Yoan, Hunter, Alex, Jenny, Serena and Alice, Serena's friend We went there by train and then by bus. It was kind of a long trip. Jenny Tsai was all the time nagging that she wanted to sleep, but I think she'd rather talk to me than sleep. Jiufen was anyway not an interesting place to go. They were walking and then complaining. Anyway, we went to the gold mine. And then, we just sat down in a circle in the square and started playing Uno. It was fine though everyone was watching us playing. I think they think it's fun to see the foreigners. What I mean is they are human beings they are not monkeys in the zoo. Then we got the bus to go to the old street. It was a tiny street filled with a lot of people. There they saw condom world. That was kind of embarrassing but funny. That shop has always been a highlight whenever I went there and whoever I was with. They tried stinky tofu. It was still weird for them. I didn't had any because I thought I didn't really like it. After that, we went back to Taipei.
Eveyone then decided to go to the night market. There we met Shawn, Rika from America, and Paluba, the first time I saw him but not the first time I heard about him. I told Paluba a lot of things about the silly ones. As usual, there was really crowded in the night market. We bought some little snacks to eat in the streets and then we all got tired, so we went to the park nearby started to play the murder and Uno. Everytime I was about to win, Hunter called me for not saying Uno. I got impatient in the end. Surprisingly, I don't really hate him. At around 21:00, we decided to go home. A lot of inbounds were picked up by their host families despite of some of us. Jenny, Rika, Shawn, Paluba and I walked Alex home then to the MRT station. As soon as we were leaving for Alex's house. It started to rain heavily. bad luck :( Anyway, I was home safely by bus.
a cool day with exchange students. I love the exchange students. They reminded my of the craziest year in my life. I miss everyone from last year, especially some of you.
Eveyone then decided to go to the night market. There we met Shawn, Rika from America, and Paluba, the first time I saw him but not the first time I heard about him. I told Paluba a lot of things about the silly ones. As usual, there was really crowded in the night market. We bought some little snacks to eat in the streets and then we all got tired, so we went to the park nearby started to play the murder and Uno. Everytime I was about to win, Hunter called me for not saying Uno. I got impatient in the end. Surprisingly, I don't really hate him. At around 21:00, we decided to go home. A lot of inbounds were picked up by their host families despite of some of us. Jenny, Rika, Shawn, Paluba and I walked Alex home then to the MRT station. As soon as we were leaving for Alex's house. It started to rain heavily. bad luck :( Anyway, I was home safely by bus.
a cool day with exchange students. I love the exchange students. They reminded my of the craziest year in my life. I miss everyone from last year, especially some of you.
the welcome party for all the inbounds in my club
So in the evening of 8/25, we had our welcome party for the inbounds in my club. I had been all the time nervous before it. I don't really know the reason probably because I could see my shadow in all the inbounds. I miss my exchange year too. Anyway, the event wasn't that good. We found the song if you're happy in several languages, and asked them to sing in their own languages, but it was anyway a bad idea. None of them was happy when they sang the song. The handouts with their lyrics were even very wrong. After that, the inbounds and their host parents held a bit introduction about themselves. They all seem speaking a bit Chinese. It was good. After that, we start eating. I was arguing with the American, Hunter a lot. I heard later that some people were complaining that I was too loud. Anyway, at last, we played another game. Each person got a heart and we wrote our names in the middle, walked around and introduced the others ourselves, got the others' cards. We could then sit down when we got our hearts back. On the second round, I got mad when Hunter didn't want to give me his heart. Well... but I wasn't really angry at all. I was just joking and lazy walking around. At very last, we took a group picture. We were there smiling for probably 5 minutes. Didn't anyone know what facebook or email were. I hate that when everytime, people want the same picture but in their own cameras. Before we were heading home, I gave Hunter a hug. He seemed to be angry at me because I wasn't willing to pick up his name card I asked him to give to me on the floor. Dad, however, seemed a bit confused with the hug. If hugs count something, I think I already have a lot of things when I was in Germany. It was anyway a good day. I was glad I was there to know the inbounds. They were really cool. They really reminded me of myself last year.
Saturday 3 September 2011
life back to Taiwan
It's been morer than 2 months since coming back from Germany. It's somehow weird but fine. To my surprise, I'm doing quite good. I had had around one month holidays before the school started. It was really difficult at first at school as a result of knowing no one. I was so scared. Whenever thinking of hoe hard I must study in the future, I cried. Remember hearing the principal's speech, I cry alone among 48 girls in my class. No one knew what to do. Things changed surprisingly after a week. People started to talk to me, not consider me as a stranger in class. I, anyway, still hate to go to school, from 7:15 to 16:00. I hardly have time for myself. I can consider my senior high as study study and study. I got the 6th place on the first mid-term exam this semester in my class which made me a bit more self-confident. I was really afraid I've forgotten everything after a year without really studying something. However, I think I'm going to take the exam on the summer vacation for transforming to another senior high which I can study hard, play hard. That'd be the most important philosophy in my life. PLAY HARD, WORK HARD. I don't want to be a book worm.
After the first midterm exam, I had about one week free. That was still a busy week for me. On the first day and the second day, I needed to take an exchange student from Spain, Alex out. I took him to Chain- Kai Shek memorial hall for the first day. And then, we visited the Egyptian exhibition. It was alright but tiring. In the afternoon, I showed him a bit Ximen, the cinema park and the cinema street. After that, I went to school for a little check-up which we did every year. I let Alex stay in Carrefour. I think he was kind of tired that he stayed at Starbucks the whole time. In the evening, we went to Shilin night market which is famous for a tourism spot. We went home at probably 18:30 because we were both exhausted after walking the whole day. The next day, I decided to make a less tiring trip, so we went to Shinyi District where people named Manhattan in Taiwan. We went there for the most famous movie in teens' world in Taiwan "You are the apple in my eye". I think it's a good movie without a lot of action. We had lunch and then we went to the top of Taipei 101 which was a part I didn't really want to do because it was expensive and not impressing enough for this price. After that, we went to the bookstore named Page one. It's a big and famous book store. It was on sale. I was so happy and excited because of a lot of cheap books also ones in English. I bought 3 books in English. We spent anyway too long there. Then I thought we had better go. Otherwise, we'd be late for the welcome party tonight. No, I meant I'd be late due to needing to be there earlier to prepare things. Anyway, I'll post another article to tell what comes the next soon. It's been an article way bit too long.
After the first midterm exam, I had about one week free. That was still a busy week for me. On the first day and the second day, I needed to take an exchange student from Spain, Alex out. I took him to Chain- Kai Shek memorial hall for the first day. And then, we visited the Egyptian exhibition. It was alright but tiring. In the afternoon, I showed him a bit Ximen, the cinema park and the cinema street. After that, I went to school for a little check-up which we did every year. I let Alex stay in Carrefour. I think he was kind of tired that he stayed at Starbucks the whole time. In the evening, we went to Shilin night market which is famous for a tourism spot. We went home at probably 18:30 because we were both exhausted after walking the whole day. The next day, I decided to make a less tiring trip, so we went to Shinyi District where people named Manhattan in Taiwan. We went there for the most famous movie in teens' world in Taiwan "You are the apple in my eye". I think it's a good movie without a lot of action. We had lunch and then we went to the top of Taipei 101 which was a part I didn't really want to do because it was expensive and not impressing enough for this price. After that, we went to the bookstore named Page one. It's a big and famous book store. It was on sale. I was so happy and excited because of a lot of cheap books also ones in English. I bought 3 books in English. We spent anyway too long there. Then I thought we had better go. Otherwise, we'd be late for the welcome party tonight. No, I meant I'd be late due to needing to be there earlier to prepare things. Anyway, I'll post another article to tell what comes the next soon. It's been an article way bit too long.
Sunday 15 May 2011
How to love
So these days, I'm deeply thinking about all of the relationships I had before. A lot of people just don't know my romance. People don't know how bad luck I usually had, neither do I like to talk about it. I never had a long relationship. Never never. And I was seriously offen the third one who broke the others' relationships. Why was it like that? I really don't understand.
There's the thing I've always wanted to tell myself.
You know exactly how annoying you were when you had a boyfriend. You had so many problems and questions. Was there one day without guessing this or that? Was there one day you lived without your cellphone without the messages or phone calls. I just wonder a lot. How you will handle it in the future?
I'm just waiting for kind of an easy relationship. People say it's better to have no one than have a bad one. That was how the other Taiwanese girls told me. Well... I just don't think he was that bad. Perhaps in some cases, he could really be counted as an A-hole. Was I really in love with him? It's pretty difficult to say it. Normally, I fell in love easily: I mean not with strangers but with the ones we really had 'something' together. Remember how much I cried for the one-month relationship with him? I was so innocent at that time. I thought everything would be like movie or the series, it was anyhow not like that at all.
The other thing to learn in a relationship is to know how to say goodbye. It's always a difficult question. I just never know how to act properly after passing the end of a relationship. Are we still friends? It's always a good question. No one will ever knows how it is or how it will be. I tried to be friendly after we broke up, but did he really care? No. None of my ex-boyfriends cared about me after.
I still think that life is an accident that you'll never know what will happen in the next moment.
Thanks for reading this meaningless post I don't even know how the point is. It's just my complicating mood when thinking of him, him or him.
I don't really know what love is, neither do I think that I've already loved someone or I'm able to love.
Wait and we'll see... how it is.
There's the thing I've always wanted to tell myself.
You know exactly how annoying you were when you had a boyfriend. You had so many problems and questions. Was there one day without guessing this or that? Was there one day you lived without your cellphone without the messages or phone calls. I just wonder a lot. How you will handle it in the future?
I'm just waiting for kind of an easy relationship. People say it's better to have no one than have a bad one. That was how the other Taiwanese girls told me. Well... I just don't think he was that bad. Perhaps in some cases, he could really be counted as an A-hole. Was I really in love with him? It's pretty difficult to say it. Normally, I fell in love easily: I mean not with strangers but with the ones we really had 'something' together. Remember how much I cried for the one-month relationship with him? I was so innocent at that time. I thought everything would be like movie or the series, it was anyhow not like that at all.
The other thing to learn in a relationship is to know how to say goodbye. It's always a difficult question. I just never know how to act properly after passing the end of a relationship. Are we still friends? It's always a good question. No one will ever knows how it is or how it will be. I tried to be friendly after we broke up, but did he really care? No. None of my ex-boyfriends cared about me after.
I still think that life is an accident that you'll never know what will happen in the next moment.
Thanks for reading this meaningless post I don't even know how the point is. It's just my complicating mood when thinking of him, him or him.
I don't really know what love is, neither do I think that I've already loved someone or I'm able to love.
Wait and we'll see... how it is.
Saturday 7 May 2011
Europa tour
so I'm typing now my blog with my mood from the very first. Some hours before the Europe tour began officially when the girl was still at home. The girl found depressed. Why? The girl found out actually she was so afraid to go to Europe tour. The host father asked the girl at lunch, are you excited with the Europe tour? She answered, not really. In fact, she's happy but sad. First, she's so afraid of people not likely liking her. Second, the end of the Europe tour meant almost the end of the exchange year. Due to those things, the girl wanted more to stay with her sweet host family. She really thought it would be better so, but the opinion came anyhow too late. On the way to the meeting point Wiesbaden, the girl was still so scared. She got a nice phone call from her mum to say be careful. However, the first day was quiet good even though we got lost on the way to the city after the orientation for us. We finally went there and had cups of beer. We talked to each other. It was a very nice night. I've always realized, when we meet group of new people, at first we feel so weak and so afraid of not being friends with the others. Perhaps we escape and talk to the close friends to say that they're weird who is ...... who is ...... After a while, we get used to it, we become friends with the others. We except them. I seriously don't see the point why we always need to complain and be afraid. On the second day, we got up like at 5:30 in the morning. It was awful. We drove to Trier first to have lunch, passed by Luxembourg and arrived Brussel. Belgium is a nice small city even though Martin was like complaining all the way there, like their cultures, their strange French or things like that. It didn't really matter to me because th;s kind of guy that is always complaining to tell that only his country France is the best the other countries are shit. I wasn't that surprised. We were in Brussel with the whole group having dinner there. I saw Godiva there. It's been my father's favourite chocolate, but I simply think the reason is because it's kind of expensive. I bought a big Easter egg there, but I don't want to talk about it now. I lost it. I was simply pissed when I found I lost them. How sad! However, it was Sunday. Not so many shops were open,only the souvenir shops for tourists. We stay in a hotel like 30 kilometres away from the city. At night, we've got nowhere to go. It was boring, but we were kind of tired. The next day we drove to Paris. It was kind of awful. We've got flat wheels. It took likely 3-4 hours to repair the wheels. We missed the guide in Louvre.
too lazy to write more now... I'll anyhow do it later. I only want to say what I want to say now. It means another new post.
too lazy to write more now... I'll anyhow do it later. I only want to say what I want to say now. It means another new post.
Sunday 10 April 2011
Wochende ist immer schneller als ich dachte
Well... so another weekend is gone. I have to think again what special things I did. Saturday was a busy day for the family because of the confirmation of a good friend's son. They invited us for the lunch and then tea time. We went to the place and helped on Saturday morning. Elisabeth had to bake a lot for them. I spoke with mm in the afternoon with non patience. I don't know how to describe it. I am already 16. And she was still talking to me as if I was a baby. I was so unhappy and angry. She wasn't considerate at all. I don't really speak that good Chinese now simply because that I don't use it right now. Can you imagine how it is after a long time to speak a completely different language? MM was like... are you busy in the moment or what??? HELLO... I didn't do anything except speaking with her. I hate that... She said I only wanted to say the thing I wanted without listening to her. Oh... it's difficult to tell how angry I was... Today was the confirmation, church in the morning, lunch together, tea time. That was planned,but they had too much to speak. There was even dinner. The meals were very good as buffet. I was so full. And after the whole day, I'm exactly exhausted right now. I didn't sleep well last night... Well... I don't know why, but I wanted to play sudoku so much.. I thought I couldn't sleep without playing it. At first, I needed to find a pencil because my school bag was downstairs and I was lazy. I was looking for a pencil for like 20 minutes or more... I found it, and then I couldn't find sudoku... I didn't want to give up even though I was so tired. I needed again about 20 minutes to find it. I was so...... I think it's always more difficult to get up with the alarm clock than get up naturally.
A weekend passed again... the thing I want to declare. I don't like you at all... the only thing I miss is only the way you talk. I don't need a boyfriend. I need someone who can talk to me like you, you and you. Of course I can talk to a very good female friend, but I know it will never be the same. Girls still need a guy. well, a good one. hmm... A boyfriend only gives the girl unsafety. SO IS IT.
HELLO, SCHOOL DAYS.
A weekend passed again... the thing I want to declare. I don't like you at all... the only thing I miss is only the way you talk. I don't need a boyfriend. I need someone who can talk to me like you, you and you. Of course I can talk to a very good female friend, but I know it will never be the same. Girls still need a guy. well, a good one. hmm... A boyfriend only gives the girl unsafety. SO IS IT.
HELLO, SCHOOL DAYS.
Friday 8 April 2011
08.04.11
Today wasn't really an impressing day. Ju invited to go with her, Paddy, Martin and Erick to Mannheim. However, I refused it because I innocently considered Leohard had his riding course today. Actually, he didn't. I changed my mind to go to Mannheim with them, but you know... it was already too late. It was still a good afternoon with STRAWBERRIES. I always feel like the happiest girl in the world when I eat strawberries. It's really one of my favourite fruits. Elisabeth bought some. It was a comfortable afternoon with the shining sun. Vicki and I sat outside and ate strawberries!!! Three boxes of strawberries belonged to us two!!! Later on we watched TV together.... It was about... well... kind of stupid friendship. The girl trusts her best friend too much. And actually, her best friend is a bitch that even slept her boyfriend. There's actually the same kind of the bitches everywhere. We went to Kaiserslautern in the evening. I didn't buy anything. I need to save for my Europe tour. mmpp, I love you!!! We went home and I cooked for the family, fried rice with eggs, pork and vegetables. Elisabeth had already frozen cooked Asian vegetables, so it wasn't difficult at all. I'm glad they like it. We made kind of a funny video when I was cooking until Leohard asked to eat...
I talked with CCAANNDDYY today. It was awesome. It has been such a long time I didn't talk with the friends before becase of the time difference that we don't really have a lot of time to talk. I feel super good these days, so I don't really want the contact with Taiwan.
Can't imagine Europe tour is right next week... HEY... I'M COMING
I talked with CCAANNDDYY today. It was awesome. It has been such a long time I didn't talk with the friends before becase of the time difference that we don't really have a lot of time to talk. I feel super good these days, so I don't really want the contact with Taiwan.
Can't imagine Europe tour is right next week... HEY... I'M COMING
Thursday 7 April 2011
What I want to say is only there's always someday people will be old
The title of this article comes from the way by bus home today. I went home by bus today as everyday. Well... except I missed the bus today, there was nothing more special than everyday. It was definitely not my fault, also it was not the first time to see how the busses are here. Anyway, I took the bus at 17:00 today. This bus takes about 50 minutes to go home. Usually, I need 20 minutes to go home. We live here in the countryside, therefore there's definitely some one-way roads that can only contain one car. Not like in Taiwan, almost every road should be able to contain 2 ways. Today on the way we passed the narrow path there was an old man with his wheelchair. The way was totally too tiny that the bus needed to stop to drive slowly because of him. The bus driver was likely shouting some bad words in the bus to tell that the old people with the wheelchair shouldn't be alone there for a walk. When we passed carefully next to the old man, the man even raised his hand for forgiveness. I felt some ashamed for the bus driver. In the moment I wanted to tell him Sir, be careful, be more sympathetic you know you'll be old too someday. I don't really like the youth these days. I'm also a part of them, but sometimes I really feel ashamed for our impoliteness. How can we be so unkind? I mean we don't need to be super nice. That only looked fake. At least, we need to learn to respect more. Every period is the way of life everyone goes.
Well... it's so warm these days.... sometimes I think it's too warm. I don't want to get suntan. I don't want to look brown.
Herr Rossy offered to drive me home today if the bus didn't come. Well... his impression in my mind changed a lot. Actually, he wasn't that boring and unkind.
My cellphone is kind of weird. I couldn't get the messages the others sent to me... I don't like that...
Friday.... only 5 hours and then weekend ... I can't wait!!!
Well... it's so warm these days.... sometimes I think it's too warm. I don't want to get suntan. I don't want to look brown.
Herr Rossy offered to drive me home today if the bus didn't come. Well... his impression in my mind changed a lot. Actually, he wasn't that boring and unkind.
My cellphone is kind of weird. I couldn't get the messages the others sent to me... I don't like that...
Friday.... only 5 hours and then weekend ... I can't wait!!!
Wednesday 6 April 2011
So ist das Leben
So I don't want to talk about the annoying thing. That's life. We search and then we can find a good way to lead our lives. Through the time, we're clearer and clearer. We know the way to be better we find the way to be stronger, don't we? The answer is yes, we do. We won't force people to do the same thing as we think, but we most of time we make ourselves to be cooperated to the others.
These days with the new family are quite good. I'm glad that we are all able to get to know our host families before living with them. I like all of my host siblings! They are all so sweet.
There's a thing I must say. I'm proud of myself. The piano course yesterday was good... It has been such a long time I don't really practice something... I'm so lazy these days. Starting playing Memory, it's difficult. I need more practice.
I think I'm going to Rotaract tomorrow...
These days with the new family are quite good. I'm glad that we are all able to get to know our host families before living with them. I like all of my host siblings! They are all so sweet.
There's a thing I must say. I'm proud of myself. The piano course yesterday was good... It has been such a long time I don't really practice something... I'm so lazy these days. Starting playing Memory, it's difficult. I need more practice.
I think I'm going to Rotaract tomorrow...
Tuesday 5 April 2011
so I lost people gradually
I'm sure these days at least 3 days I won't really be in a good mood. I'm kind of frustrated. Why is it so difficult? Why should you care? The question sounded so easy but deep. Well... fuck you... it's the first thing I wanted to say. And you are really a BITCH. What am I supposed to be in your eyes? A bitch that you can come and go away without saying a word? Like I said, the one who falls in love at first is the loser. You all made me understand it... Thank you! I don't want to admit I lost the love game. It wasn't like that. I didn't even want to look at you. You know why our relationship was like that. It was really because I had been all the time too lonely. It seems I'm not the kind of girl that can life without a guy or guys around me. I really really don't want to admit that... but that's kind of the fact. I feel weak when I am without a guy talk like you and whom I can speak to. Why is it so difficult? You know sometimes I wanted to give you everything you wanted, but I was so afraid that you would leave me if you got everything. Well... you and you and you ... you are all moving out of my life. Who can I believe now? I'm still standing there like a fool. I'm like the kind of girl that loses the love game easily... I couldn't afford it right now. It'll be better after someday. To love is the thing you can't force people to do. It is like that... You'd better face the reality before you wake up again from your fond dream.
forget the bitch... and dream again! cheer up...
forget the bitch... and dream again! cheer up...
Monday 4 April 2011
Familie Wechseln
It has been kind of the long time again that I start to work on my blog. It was however not all my fault, just my computer couldn't search the cable of the Internet last 2 days. It was such a mess. After changing the family, you had no INTERNET... kind of a big trouble. So now I'm starting to tell my life these days.
On Friday was officially the last day that I stayed in Galles'. I wasn't that sad. I think it's because 3 months weren't that long. I was close to them, but there's really no need to cry or feel sad. Ju lives there right now, so it's anyhow easier for me to visit them. Sammi gave me a sweet letter! He's really so sweet but sometimes annoying. That's true. On Friday evening, Elena went to her friend's birthday party, Simone, Ortwin and I went to the movie in Eisenberg together. We watched Hall Pass. The film told a story of marriage that the couple were already fed up with each other, so the wives gave their husbands one week break from the marriage. They didn't live at home for the whole week and the husbands could do whatever they wanted. It was a funny comedy but not for the family to watch together. Ortwin chose the film and it was actually embarrassing for us three to watch together. And it was the first time to be in an empty cinema with only us three. It was already a cool experience!
On Saturday morning Juliette came to replace my position. hahaha! It's a joke. well... no one can be replaced in the others' mind. We had breakfast together and later Simone drove us together to Frau Schoenaur-Gregg and then Langmeil. I've started my life in Langmeil officially. It's still quite good till now. Sometimes they're too quite, too silent... silent enough to let people scared, but not when all the kids are here. They've really got a lot of relatives. When the kids are all here. it's always full of energies. I like that. They (Elisabeth, Vicki, Leohard, Conilia and Jonas) went to the orchestra concert in Alsenz. It was good and cool even though the songs were difficult. I picked the piccolo again too late.... I hate that. We arrived home at about 22:00. We cooked some french fries, nuggets and bbq wings to eat... We were starving! I've got the feeling I'll get very fat with the family... OH MY GOD...
On Sunday, I gave a little girl flute course. She has learned it for less than 2 months... It's difficult. I mean, if you can't play the tone well, you won't have the motivation to practice because it sounds stupid and ugly. I went once through the process too. I know how it is.
Again Monday, a weekend almost completely without the Internet... I don't really miss you...
Tomorrow if I get more time, I'll type some bitches down. Well... some bitches pissed me off...
gooooooooooooooodbye
Again Monday
On Friday was officially the last day that I stayed in Galles'. I wasn't that sad. I think it's because 3 months weren't that long. I was close to them, but there's really no need to cry or feel sad. Ju lives there right now, so it's anyhow easier for me to visit them. Sammi gave me a sweet letter! He's really so sweet but sometimes annoying. That's true. On Friday evening, Elena went to her friend's birthday party, Simone, Ortwin and I went to the movie in Eisenberg together. We watched Hall Pass. The film told a story of marriage that the couple were already fed up with each other, so the wives gave their husbands one week break from the marriage. They didn't live at home for the whole week and the husbands could do whatever they wanted. It was a funny comedy but not for the family to watch together. Ortwin chose the film and it was actually embarrassing for us three to watch together. And it was the first time to be in an empty cinema with only us three. It was already a cool experience!
On Saturday morning Juliette came to replace my position. hahaha! It's a joke. well... no one can be replaced in the others' mind. We had breakfast together and later Simone drove us together to Frau Schoenaur-Gregg and then Langmeil. I've started my life in Langmeil officially. It's still quite good till now. Sometimes they're too quite, too silent... silent enough to let people scared, but not when all the kids are here. They've really got a lot of relatives. When the kids are all here. it's always full of energies. I like that. They (Elisabeth, Vicki, Leohard, Conilia and Jonas) went to the orchestra concert in Alsenz. It was good and cool even though the songs were difficult. I picked the piccolo again too late.... I hate that. We arrived home at about 22:00. We cooked some french fries, nuggets and bbq wings to eat... We were starving! I've got the feeling I'll get very fat with the family... OH MY GOD...
On Sunday, I gave a little girl flute course. She has learned it for less than 2 months... It's difficult. I mean, if you can't play the tone well, you won't have the motivation to practice because it sounds stupid and ugly. I went once through the process too. I know how it is.
Again Monday, a weekend almost completely without the Internet... I don't really miss you...
Tomorrow if I get more time, I'll type some bitches down. Well... some bitches pissed me off...
gooooooooooooooodbye
Again Monday
Friday 1 April 2011
lazy lazy and lazy
So I've already skipped one day... Well...it's always like that. After some days, I've got no interests in doing the same things everyday. It's a bad bad habit...
Yesterday was the day I was afraid of, Bundesjugendspiel. I hate that. It's kind of sport day. In winter we have to do gymnastics and in summer we do some outside activities. We all learned gymnastic at school before. hmm... It was already hard for us what we'd learned at school In Germany, pupils do the gymnastics like 100 times more difficult than us. And they think it's not that difficult.Well... kind of ironic. However, I suffered it. No one laughed... I was so glad of it. I've always been sort of girl that really cares a lot a lot and I'm not able to change myself now and in the future...
I went to school today on time, but Herr Lenbach was not there. Then I went home again. I helped Ortwin a little bit and had longer breakfast. I think I didn't really do something special today. I got 3- in chemistry. Anyway, I don't really care. And I got 3- in Katagana test. I really think it's simply too difficult to remember so many symbols. Frau Hoffman had to give the marks to the students in Bundesjugendspiel, so we had the last 2 hours free. I went home packed and made my room a little bit cleaner...
I decided to buy some chocolate to put in my package because there was still a little bit spaces in the package . Ortwin drove me to the supermarket on the way Sammy had hip-hop lessons. Some minutes before we drove away, Fible talked to me. He asked me if I like him or not. Well... I'm sure there was someone who said something ironic or stupid or he bet with someone. That was why he asked me. Well... I told him I don't know. The reason is because it's difficult to discover you like someone or not. And because of the last relationship, I decided to not like someone easily. I mean I always want someone to be there to talk to me like him, but I don't want any relationship. That's too hard... I'm the one who always worries too much, cares too much. However, it's just too complicating to last relationship. Another reason is I don't want to be hurt again, so I can have someone who's close to me. The one who falls in love first is the loser. Simply, I don't want to lose the love game. I can have kind of open relationship, but I'm not able to have a real relationship now. And however, we can't only talk about that online.
The rule of the love game is DO NOT FALL IN LOVE AT FIRST!
After going to the supermarket, we met each other at 18:00 in Panda Chinese restaurant next by Hotel Braun. We were there to celebrate the end of living in this host family, kind of farewell. I feel glad! I really love them! I love the whole family! And then I went directly to Rotaract meeting in Hotel Braun. The theme today was also not so impressing... however, finally I got the chance to say a little bit things right now took courage to do it. It wasn't that hard. There was a new woman with blond hair. I think she's beautiful. Her name's Janina. We went to the new Italian restaurant in Schillerhain everyone together then. Janina drove me there. We talked a little. She's actually really nice. It wasn't embarrassing at all. You won't know how embarrassing it is to sit in the car alone without talking. I like her. She lives in Goellheim and offered to drive me home. She also mentioned she can also pick me up in Langmeil and drive me home, so it won't be the last time I go to Rotaract! SUCH A NICE WOMAN!
The day is over and over again and again... faster and faster again...
Yesterday was the day I was afraid of, Bundesjugendspiel. I hate that. It's kind of sport day. In winter we have to do gymnastics and in summer we do some outside activities. We all learned gymnastic at school before. hmm... It was already hard for us what we'd learned at school In Germany, pupils do the gymnastics like 100 times more difficult than us. And they think it's not that difficult.Well... kind of ironic. However, I suffered it. No one laughed... I was so glad of it. I've always been sort of girl that really cares a lot a lot and I'm not able to change myself now and in the future...
I went to school today on time, but Herr Lenbach was not there. Then I went home again. I helped Ortwin a little bit and had longer breakfast. I think I didn't really do something special today. I got 3- in chemistry. Anyway, I don't really care. And I got 3- in Katagana test. I really think it's simply too difficult to remember so many symbols. Frau Hoffman had to give the marks to the students in Bundesjugendspiel, so we had the last 2 hours free. I went home packed and made my room a little bit cleaner...
I decided to buy some chocolate to put in my package because there was still a little bit spaces in the package . Ortwin drove me to the supermarket on the way Sammy had hip-hop lessons. Some minutes before we drove away, Fible talked to me. He asked me if I like him or not. Well... I'm sure there was someone who said something ironic or stupid or he bet with someone. That was why he asked me. Well... I told him I don't know. The reason is because it's difficult to discover you like someone or not. And because of the last relationship, I decided to not like someone easily. I mean I always want someone to be there to talk to me like him, but I don't want any relationship. That's too hard... I'm the one who always worries too much, cares too much. However, it's just too complicating to last relationship. Another reason is I don't want to be hurt again, so I can have someone who's close to me. The one who falls in love first is the loser. Simply, I don't want to lose the love game. I can have kind of open relationship, but I'm not able to have a real relationship now. And however, we can't only talk about that online.
The rule of the love game is DO NOT FALL IN LOVE AT FIRST!
After going to the supermarket, we met each other at 18:00 in Panda Chinese restaurant next by Hotel Braun. We were there to celebrate the end of living in this host family, kind of farewell. I feel glad! I really love them! I love the whole family! And then I went directly to Rotaract meeting in Hotel Braun. The theme today was also not so impressing... however, finally I got the chance to say a little bit things right now took courage to do it. It wasn't that hard. There was a new woman with blond hair. I think she's beautiful. Her name's Janina. We went to the new Italian restaurant in Schillerhain everyone together then. Janina drove me there. We talked a little. She's actually really nice. It wasn't embarrassing at all. You won't know how embarrassing it is to sit in the car alone without talking. I like her. She lives in Goellheim and offered to drive me home. She also mentioned she can also pick me up in Langmeil and drive me home, so it won't be the last time I go to Rotaract! SUCH A NICE WOMAN!
The day is over and over again and again... faster and faster again...
Tuesday 29 March 2011
a day with the sun gives people motivation
Kind of not in the mood. Well... I hate the customs. If you're talking to some people every day, only one day without. It can let you want to die.
Ju slept here yesterday. Today in the morning I wanted to kill her.The reason is simple because she didn't need to go to school as early as me. I'm jealous. I needed to go to school so early and she just needed to lie on the bed... It's so unfair.
As usual, 2 sport lessons still suck. Since I'm in Europe, I've realized how bad I am in sport lessons here... How bad our sport education is. I'm kind of the girl that everyone can laugh at. Thank you, Taiwanese education. You let me know a lot of ways to get good grades but nothing really about music, art or sport. It's difficult to imagine how stupid it is. Tomorrow is kind of the sport day at school and we all need to do gymnasium kind of in the front of every pupil. I don't know how to face it, definitely not.
The school was until 13:00. On the way Ju and I went home she told me that nobody's not at home at noon, so I decided for the occasion to go to Winnweiler. I need to go there anyhow for my piano course.We had a good afternoon together with the shining sun. Like always, we talked a lot. And we had light lunch! I love the tomatoes with kind of sauce with grape vinegar. And I love the olive oil there! In the afternoon there was a surprising visit, Sarah Steinbach. She's so interesting and funny. We talked about Adrian. I really couldn't stop laughing when we were talking about him... We there really had a nice talk together. She has kind of magic that she can put everything in a funny way! In the evening, we ate with Johanna and Joachim together... At 18:00 Ju and I walked together to Frau Baecker. I didn't really practice any piano this week. I think she was shocked because of my bad job. However, I'll try to do it this week. Well... I hope so.
It's such a mess. I mean this article. Whatever, it is like that... Ich habe keine Lust....
Ju slept here yesterday. Today in the morning I wanted to kill her.The reason is simple because she didn't need to go to school as early as me. I'm jealous. I needed to go to school so early and she just needed to lie on the bed... It's so unfair.
As usual, 2 sport lessons still suck. Since I'm in Europe, I've realized how bad I am in sport lessons here... How bad our sport education is. I'm kind of the girl that everyone can laugh at. Thank you, Taiwanese education. You let me know a lot of ways to get good grades but nothing really about music, art or sport. It's difficult to imagine how stupid it is. Tomorrow is kind of the sport day at school and we all need to do gymnasium kind of in the front of every pupil. I don't know how to face it, definitely not.
The school was until 13:00. On the way Ju and I went home she told me that nobody's not at home at noon, so I decided for the occasion to go to Winnweiler. I need to go there anyhow for my piano course.We had a good afternoon together with the shining sun. Like always, we talked a lot. And we had light lunch! I love the tomatoes with kind of sauce with grape vinegar. And I love the olive oil there! In the afternoon there was a surprising visit, Sarah Steinbach. She's so interesting and funny. We talked about Adrian. I really couldn't stop laughing when we were talking about him... We there really had a nice talk together. She has kind of magic that she can put everything in a funny way! In the evening, we ate with Johanna and Joachim together... At 18:00 Ju and I walked together to Frau Baecker. I didn't really practice any piano this week. I think she was shocked because of my bad job. However, I'll try to do it this week. Well... I hope so.
It's such a mess. I mean this article. Whatever, it is like that... Ich habe keine Lust....
Monday blue
Monday is usually not that good in my life until now... I don't want to talk to people only want to sleep all the time. I hate that. There's always a wall between people and me on Monday, especially at school. So let me think about something interesting to say. Well... We did 4. maths exam today. It was definitely not that easy as I had thought... However, people suffer it an I don't care about my marks, but sometimes I'd like people to think I'm smart, so I'd like to get a good grade in maths. However, it doesn't matter. I finished my lunch at school and went home for a while when the others had AG and I don't. I talked with Fible. As usual, the topic we were talking about is always like that... Sometimes I'm really so afraid. If you ask me of what, I don't really know how to answer.It's all the time a big question mark between us. It is like that. My loneliness led me to go to him. It is kind of stupid. So what??? don't really want to think about it. People sometimes need the time that they don't need to worry about anything or talk like an idiot... SO WHAT? well... why do we all the time need to think deeply about how the others see us. Why can't we just be ourselves? It seems easy but hard. We've all heard thousands of people say that we need to be brave to be ourselves and don't be afraid... But why why is it actually so difficult to not care about what the others think.
I did my presentation in Rotary today. It was okay. I mean it's not that bad to go to Rotary with good warm food I can choose. They don't want to talk to me... It's okay... I'd prefer to get good food than not going there. I was nervous from the first till the end. It's difficult to speak German in front of so many people automatically. I'm happy Ortwin, Simone, and Ju came too and she's sleeping tonight! It was already the third time she listened to my presentation! Anyway, we need each other, don't we? I ate the salad there. I always eat salad there. I think I'll miss salad a lot when I am in Taiwan again. I hope mm will go to the good supermarket to get fresh and good salad for me! Finally, someone knows how it is in my club how boring it is... and how old they are. I'm glad my sponsored club and my pp's club isn't like that. I miss my club I miss that sort of atmosphere that people talk to each other not so commercial... People don't only talk for their business. It shouldn't be like that... Then we wanted to get some ice cream for dessert, but the cafes were all close. However, we still went to Mcdonald to get some!
A day is over again.... It's not a good idea to count the day left in Germany every day... so perhaps I'm going to stop doing that kind of stupid thing. It's logical but sad...
well... good night to me and Ju!
I did my presentation in Rotary today. It was okay. I mean it's not that bad to go to Rotary with good warm food I can choose. They don't want to talk to me... It's okay... I'd prefer to get good food than not going there. I was nervous from the first till the end. It's difficult to speak German in front of so many people automatically. I'm happy Ortwin, Simone, and Ju came too and she's sleeping tonight! It was already the third time she listened to my presentation! Anyway, we need each other, don't we? I ate the salad there. I always eat salad there. I think I'll miss salad a lot when I am in Taiwan again. I hope mm will go to the good supermarket to get fresh and good salad for me! Finally, someone knows how it is in my club how boring it is... and how old they are. I'm glad my sponsored club and my pp's club isn't like that. I miss my club I miss that sort of atmosphere that people talk to each other not so commercial... People don't only talk for their business. It shouldn't be like that... Then we wanted to get some ice cream for dessert, but the cafes were all close. However, we still went to Mcdonald to get some!
A day is over again.... It's not a good idea to count the day left in Germany every day... so perhaps I'm going to stop doing that kind of stupid thing. It's logical but sad...
well... good night to me and Ju!
Sunday 27 March 2011
Time differences from Taiwan and Germany finally remain only 6 hours
As usual, I want to keep my blog working every day. On any account, I was too tiered to do it yesterday. The orchestra started at 9:00 in the morning and ended at 18:00. I was totally exhausted after it. The other reason is also that it has been such a long time I don't really practice flute. I actually think I've never played the instrument for such a long time in 1 day. Most of the songs are tiring, but I feel good to play again in the orchestra.
On Friday night I went to the disco with my host sister, her boyfriend, and some of her friends, my first time to a disco. It was quite good with a little bit alcohol but not too much. The security in a German disco is kind of strict in my mind. At first you need your ID so that they can keep it till the end you leave, then you got a stamp on your hand to make the difference from 16-year-old people and 18-year-old people. (In Germany, you can only drink beer and wine when you're 16. Until you're 18, you can drink the rest of the alcohol and buy cigarette.). They'll also take a picture of you .At last, you get a card that you pay all the things with it and then pay in the end with cash. They waiters can also get to know how old you are with the card. Friday night was a special night "car night". You have to pay 10 euros to get in and if you get in with a toy car then you get 10 euros extra for those drinks. One point I didn't feel really good on Friday night is that we didn't really meet a lot of people we knew, so it was not that fun. However, it was still fresh for me.
Today I still went to the orchestra as everyone expected me to do. I was happy it wasn't so long today. The practice today was from 9:00 till 13:00. It was still good, but I need to practice alone. I wasn't that good in those songs. All the people who play the flute need to play the piccolo in one of the songs. It was the first time I played piccolo. Anyway, It wasn't that difficult as I had imagined:) We're going to hold a concert next Saturday. It's going to be a good weekend with both changing family and the coming concert!
As usual, Sammy my host brother and Lea my another host sister come back again today (They are the children from my host father. They live one week here and one week with their mum.) As soon as Sammy was here, he came to me and told me "It's your last weekend with us, we have to do something special together!" You can't imagine why it was special to hear that. The reason is that we're all the time arguing and fighting. Of course it's always for fun, but I was still touched when he said it! He's so sweat!!! And he told my host parents that we should go to the restaurant this week before changing family to celebrate it. I really feel well in this family. I LOVE THEM!
A weekend passed again and it's the cruel reality again... I hate to go to school.
One lucky thing is the time differences between Taiwan and Germany are less 1 hour, so it remains 6 hours now! It should be 9:00 now. However, I'm tired, so I'm going to bed right now!!!
Starting packing again is tiring.....
in my bedroom
On Friday night I went to the disco with my host sister, her boyfriend, and some of her friends, my first time to a disco. It was quite good with a little bit alcohol but not too much. The security in a German disco is kind of strict in my mind. At first you need your ID so that they can keep it till the end you leave, then you got a stamp on your hand to make the difference from 16-year-old people and 18-year-old people. (In Germany, you can only drink beer and wine when you're 16. Until you're 18, you can drink the rest of the alcohol and buy cigarette.). They'll also take a picture of you .At last, you get a card that you pay all the things with it and then pay in the end with cash. They waiters can also get to know how old you are with the card. Friday night was a special night "car night". You have to pay 10 euros to get in and if you get in with a toy car then you get 10 euros extra for those drinks. One point I didn't feel really good on Friday night is that we didn't really meet a lot of people we knew, so it was not that fun. However, it was still fresh for me.
Today I still went to the orchestra as everyone expected me to do. I was happy it wasn't so long today. The practice today was from 9:00 till 13:00. It was still good, but I need to practice alone. I wasn't that good in those songs. All the people who play the flute need to play the piccolo in one of the songs. It was the first time I played piccolo. Anyway, It wasn't that difficult as I had imagined:) We're going to hold a concert next Saturday. It's going to be a good weekend with both changing family and the coming concert!
As usual, Sammy my host brother and Lea my another host sister come back again today (They are the children from my host father. They live one week here and one week with their mum.) As soon as Sammy was here, he came to me and told me "It's your last weekend with us, we have to do something special together!" You can't imagine why it was special to hear that. The reason is that we're all the time arguing and fighting. Of course it's always for fun, but I was still touched when he said it! He's so sweat!!! And he told my host parents that we should go to the restaurant this week before changing family to celebrate it. I really feel well in this family. I LOVE THEM!
A weekend passed again and it's the cruel reality again... I hate to go to school.
One lucky thing is the time differences between Taiwan and Germany are less 1 hour, so it remains 6 hours now! It should be 9:00 now. However, I'm tired, so I'm going to bed right now!!!
Starting packing again is tiring.....
in my bedroom
Friday 25 March 2011
Frei-Tag
So it's Friday today. Usually, I should be excited about the weekend. Today, I don't really feel that happy. One of the reason is because some stupid things happened. So tomorrow evening is Paddy's birthday party in Bensheim. He's simply kind of a good friend from me and Ju. I'm actually willing to go there, now it only seems impossible, so I choose to face the fact right now. The thing is like that. My counselor invited me to join the orchestra of Donnersberg-Kreis. I hate that when I can't say NO... because someone's always doing some stupid things behind me. I couldn't do anything to stop it due to the BITCH. However, they are also too nice so that I couldn't easily say NO. That really sucks. In my opinion, people shouldn't be mean but being too nice or kind is also a wrong thing. It's not when you're all the time doing the right thing, then you're right. You also have to look after the situation to make a proper decision of everything, just like a kind lie.
So, today's quite okay. As usual, I went home from school at 13:00. The weather today is quite good with the sun and light wind, so we had the first outside lunch today! It was awesome. I miss it so much. After lunch, we still sat outside ate ice cream with the warm sun is the best thing you can do in summer! The stairs from the main entrance seem to be the best place to enjoy the sun when the weather's awesome. We went horse riding with Elena(my host sister in the afternoon). The horse riding I mean is she still need to hold a rope for me, but it wasn't like when we were small the coach always had to stand right beside the horse. Instead of it, she can stand in the middle with a long rope along the horse. It's always been a wish for me to go horse riding! Remember when I was perhaps a 2nd grader, I was once by my aunt in Taichung. They had promised me that we're going to the horse training place. Unfortunately, my eyebrow injured be a scooter and was bloody. After that, a doctor sew the wound with perhaps 4 stitches for me... I'm not sure. I can't remember anymore The incident was actually because I was playing with my friend. We were riding the scooters. I've always wanted to be the first one and wanted to be faster, so it just happened. Therefore, all the adults asked me not to go to the horse training place then because of the wound. It could easily be infected. I remember I was sooooo stubborn. There was only I had to go in my mind. At last, I still went there. However, I've got this chance now from this family. I feel grateful. I know I may not be able to continue it in Taiwan. It's expensive like fuck in Taiwan and is considered as a royal sport. It's so stupid. No sports should be royal. I'm for that everyone has the right to try different kinds of sports and choose one that fits ourselves. The horse Snoopy was anyhow a little bit uncontrolled today. It was all pretty good at first. Then he started running so fast mentally until Elena couldn't hold him anymore. I reacted calm. In reality, I was so scared and so afraid of falling down of him. Anyway, if you are just so scared, it doesn't help anything. I hold it tight and let him run. He ran so fast. Elena seemed a little bit shocked and nervous. She shouted "Hold the rope tight with his hair!" Once I was about to fall from him. Luckily, he stopped... God saved my life. However, I wasn't really shocked but found it coooool because Snoopy doesn't run that fast normally. I feel lucky I experienced it and it was quite cool and fresh for me! I really like horse riding. At least now I like it very much. Thanks for Elena's one on one horse riding courses. Love you :)
Tonight I'm going to the disco with Elena and some of friends! It's going to be fun!!! I feel so good to have host sisters that we can always exchange clothes, shoes, or associations. I love that kind of feeling! And tomorrow I should face the reality to go to the orchestra as everyone expects me to do.
18:35 in the dining room
So, today's quite okay. As usual, I went home from school at 13:00. The weather today is quite good with the sun and light wind, so we had the first outside lunch today! It was awesome. I miss it so much. After lunch, we still sat outside ate ice cream with the warm sun is the best thing you can do in summer! The stairs from the main entrance seem to be the best place to enjoy the sun when the weather's awesome. We went horse riding with Elena(my host sister in the afternoon). The horse riding I mean is she still need to hold a rope for me, but it wasn't like when we were small the coach always had to stand right beside the horse. Instead of it, she can stand in the middle with a long rope along the horse. It's always been a wish for me to go horse riding! Remember when I was perhaps a 2nd grader, I was once by my aunt in Taichung. They had promised me that we're going to the horse training place. Unfortunately, my eyebrow injured be a scooter and was bloody. After that, a doctor sew the wound with perhaps 4 stitches for me... I'm not sure. I can't remember anymore The incident was actually because I was playing with my friend. We were riding the scooters. I've always wanted to be the first one and wanted to be faster, so it just happened. Therefore, all the adults asked me not to go to the horse training place then because of the wound. It could easily be infected. I remember I was sooooo stubborn. There was only I had to go in my mind. At last, I still went there. However, I've got this chance now from this family. I feel grateful. I know I may not be able to continue it in Taiwan. It's expensive like fuck in Taiwan and is considered as a royal sport. It's so stupid. No sports should be royal. I'm for that everyone has the right to try different kinds of sports and choose one that fits ourselves. The horse Snoopy was anyhow a little bit uncontrolled today. It was all pretty good at first. Then he started running so fast mentally until Elena couldn't hold him anymore. I reacted calm. In reality, I was so scared and so afraid of falling down of him. Anyway, if you are just so scared, it doesn't help anything. I hold it tight and let him run. He ran so fast. Elena seemed a little bit shocked and nervous. She shouted "Hold the rope tight with his hair!" Once I was about to fall from him. Luckily, he stopped... God saved my life. However, I wasn't really shocked but found it coooool because Snoopy doesn't run that fast normally. I feel lucky I experienced it and it was quite cool and fresh for me! I really like horse riding. At least now I like it very much. Thanks for Elena's one on one horse riding courses. Love you :)
Tonight I'm going to the disco with Elena and some of friends! It's going to be fun!!! I feel so good to have host sisters that we can always exchange clothes, shoes, or associations. I love that kind of feeling! And tomorrow I should face the reality to go to the orchestra as everyone expects me to do.
18:35 in the dining room
Thursday 24 March 2011
Heute
Okay, that's cool. It's the second day I have my blog. I'm proud of myself that I continue doing it. It's a simple day at school like every day, don't really understand something. We got our English vocabulary and plural test back. I got 1-. It was okay for me even though I know I made some stupid mistakes. We''ve been learning Katagana in Japanese for couple months. It makes people confusing. I don't understand why Japanese need such many different kinds of alphabets. I mean like English ABC etw. are already enough for people to communicate.In Japanese people need to learn three kinds Katagana, Hiragana and Kanji. Oh my god... The grammar is totally not difficult at all, but the symbols really suck. However, we've got today the last 2 hours free. Two maths disappeared from the time table. A day without maths is anyhow wonderful. I've been sleepy and tired the whole day. I think using computer before sleeping is unhealthy and it makes people sleepless like me. I couldn't sleep last night. It was so annoying. I hate that.
After school I went to Winnweiler where Ju lives for the German course with Frau Schönaur-Gregg. As usual, It was good with the homemade pizza. I only don't feel really good that Ju always gets full of plans from Rotary. I never get really kind of chance have appointments with mine. I don't really feel that well with my Rotary club these days. I mean if you all have no moods to host an exchange students, than don't start it. You all understand it's unfair for me. My club seems too commercial. I have the feeling that they don't want to talk to a 16-year-old girl because then they get no business. Such a pity... I'm sure they're clear in their mind, so after this year they can easily tell the whole world we cooperate with district to make youth exchange programme. I mean SO WHAT. You're doing the surface. You are only officially my sponsored club. I am considered as a good. I'm only the deal with money. How stupid it is! I can't imagine it anymore.
It's my last weekend in Weierhof. We're changing family on 02.04.11. It seems so fast, all the things! I can't imagine I'm going to school by fucking bus that is always late again. I DON'T WANT!!! I can't go home whenever I want. That really sucks... Everything will need to be changed again... Ahhhhh... I don't like it.
After school I went to Winnweiler where Ju lives for the German course with Frau Schönaur-Gregg. As usual, It was good with the homemade pizza. I only don't feel really good that Ju always gets full of plans from Rotary. I never get really kind of chance have appointments with mine. I don't really feel that well with my Rotary club these days. I mean if you all have no moods to host an exchange students, than don't start it. You all understand it's unfair for me. My club seems too commercial. I have the feeling that they don't want to talk to a 16-year-old girl because then they get no business. Such a pity... I'm sure they're clear in their mind, so after this year they can easily tell the whole world we cooperate with district to make youth exchange programme. I mean SO WHAT. You're doing the surface. You are only officially my sponsored club. I am considered as a good. I'm only the deal with money. How stupid it is! I can't imagine it anymore.
It's my last weekend in Weierhof. We're changing family on 02.04.11. It seems so fast, all the things! I can't imagine I'm going to school by fucking bus that is always late again. I DON'T WANT!!! I can't go home whenever I want. That really sucks... Everything will need to be changed again... Ahhhhh... I don't like it.
Wednesday 23 March 2011
Anfangen
However, because of this and that I started a new blog with the first article in English. I hope this time I'll last it longer and make it more interesting.
So this is my 7th month in Germany. I can't imagine I'm going home in 94 days. It sounds scary to me. I don't really know how to handle the days back to my hometown, Taipei. It means a lot of homework, tests, and staying up for the school stuffs. I'm not able to face that kind of reality right now. I still want to dream a little bit more. Therefore, I've decided since now, I'm going to enjoy my life every day without thinking how the others see me. I've walked through the processes from the very first, in the middle, and I think the Europe tour during the Easter holidays will be a good start for my last part of exchange year. Whenever I'm thinking about such things, I've gotten such a complicating mood in my mind. On the one hand, I couldn't wake up from my fond dream. On the other hand, I'm fed up with having no friends in my class. I couldn't find any reasons to go to school. I go to school despite understanding nothing. Sometimes I ask myself what the fuck I am doing now at school. I'm tired of being alone or standing with my classmates during the break but saying nothing. As I always think, I'm not supposed to be alone, but my classmates don't seem to understand it. I mean if I was in my country, I could also talk to everyone and it'd be easier to find a topic to talk with the others. Unfortunately I'm not. I can easily consider the time at school is the darkest period during the exchange. 7 months already passed. I'm still worrying about the same thing as the first month. I'm still afraid of having no friends at school. I feel so weak. It's the first time I feel like a fool that couldn't do anything to against it. I wanted to defeat, but I had no strength.
Therefore, all of my friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't wait to see you all again. I can't wait to have common topics, laugh and make joke with each other! Anyway, the first thing I'll need to do after landing Taiwan is to EAT! I'm dying to eat Taiwanese snacks. I feel I could eat everything in Taiwan everywhere! SISTERS, LET'S GO.
love you all, always with full of my love
So this is my 7th month in Germany. I can't imagine I'm going home in 94 days. It sounds scary to me. I don't really know how to handle the days back to my hometown, Taipei. It means a lot of homework, tests, and staying up for the school stuffs. I'm not able to face that kind of reality right now. I still want to dream a little bit more. Therefore, I've decided since now, I'm going to enjoy my life every day without thinking how the others see me. I've walked through the processes from the very first, in the middle, and I think the Europe tour during the Easter holidays will be a good start for my last part of exchange year. Whenever I'm thinking about such things, I've gotten such a complicating mood in my mind. On the one hand, I couldn't wake up from my fond dream. On the other hand, I'm fed up with having no friends in my class. I couldn't find any reasons to go to school. I go to school despite understanding nothing. Sometimes I ask myself what the fuck I am doing now at school. I'm tired of being alone or standing with my classmates during the break but saying nothing. As I always think, I'm not supposed to be alone, but my classmates don't seem to understand it. I mean if I was in my country, I could also talk to everyone and it'd be easier to find a topic to talk with the others. Unfortunately I'm not. I can easily consider the time at school is the darkest period during the exchange. 7 months already passed. I'm still worrying about the same thing as the first month. I'm still afraid of having no friends at school. I feel so weak. It's the first time I feel like a fool that couldn't do anything to against it. I wanted to defeat, but I had no strength.
Therefore, all of my friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't wait to see you all again. I can't wait to have common topics, laugh and make joke with each other! Anyway, the first thing I'll need to do after landing Taiwan is to EAT! I'm dying to eat Taiwanese snacks. I feel I could eat everything in Taiwan everywhere! SISTERS, LET'S GO.
love you all, always with full of my love
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